Friday, 23 October 2009

I have to keep reminding myself that the game of human being..... is not personal...

I have made no secret on this blog of my desire to make a difference to children and young people but the training programme I am on requires me to make a difference what matters to the adults I come into contact with and in what they are dealing with. My reluctance to engage with adults is in the way of what I ultimately want to do which is to make a difference to children and over the last couple of days I have been looking at what is it about being related to adults that is so threatening to me. I can see the difference in how I am when I am around young people. There is an ease and a freedom and also a connection. With children and young people I feel profoundly related to them very easily and quickly, it is a different story when it comes to adults and there is something in the way of me being profoundly related to adults which stops me from feeling comfortable and at ease.

I assert that the whole purpose of human being is for the Divine to play the game of hide and seek. It is a game of hide and seek of the ONE with the MANY. This game like all games has rules. One of the rules is that part of the ONE has to appear different so that a game can be played. This difference shows itself as our identity/personality which gives the appearance of difference between human beings. The range of attributes which is chosen for the identity is not very extensive or very creative for that matter. There is a range and within that range an attribute is chosen. It most often follows on some event and then a decision will be made which the identity will grasp on and use it to form an aspect of the personality so that the ONE looks different to THE MANY.

What I have recently seen for myself and which has been shocking but not completely devastating is that I am fundamentally arrogant. It is this that is in the way of me being able to relate deeply to adults and to get into their world and be present to what it is that they are dealing with and with what matters to them. My arrogance is not the usual kind of overt arrogance but is more subtle and covert. It occurs as feeling superior which is covered over by being distant. To see this insight without understanding the bigger picture would have been completely devastating to me. But I understand that it is the coat of arrogance that I wear which gives the illusion of separation and distance from others. For someone else it is something else. The identity in selecting attributes is not creative. What seems to be important is to select attributes that are on the surface directly opposite to the Divine and then to have the game being to see that these attributes just cover what is underneath which is the Divine essence. The human attributes have to appear different to the Divine because otherwise there is no game.

The other night I watched a programme on the brain which was totally fascinating. The researcher was asked to make a decision (shown by pressing a button) and a scan was taken of his brain. What they found was that certain areas of the brain activated 6 SECONDS BEFORE the researcher pressed the button signalling his decision. 6 seconds is such a long time for the brain to be active before a conscious decision is taken. This proved to me so clearly that a conscious decision to do something is the last stage in the process and not the first. So....if the consciousness is not in control... then what is......

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