Enlightenment which is the aim of all those on a spiritual path is only going to be achieved if we are willing to get into a street fight with ourselves. I am aware that this can read as radical but in my experience it is during those times when I am most hard on myself that the greatest peace comes at the end. When I can admit (not make wrong) all of the nastiness that underpins my apparent niceness and give it up then and only then is the space available for enlightenment. Getting into a street fight with yourself is not pleasant. It involves coming from the place where everything lies within me and not anywhere else. It is not 'out there', but 'in here'. Nobody can push my buttons except me. To enter into this enquiry and really take on the kind of street fight which is necessary to become free is not easy. The best way of doing it is to treat it like a game which in fact is what it is. The whole of life is a game and to make anything that happens throughout the course of the game which is one's whole life to be significant is to cause suffering and discomfort which is totally unnecessary.
Yes, taking on this street fight with myself is vital for enlightenment but it doesn't have to be this heavy, bad and wrong thing. It can be a process of playful discovery and an acknowledgement and acceptance of what is there. Acknowledgement and acceptance are hugely powerful in creating the space for enlightenment. Enlightenment is nothing more than 'lightening up'. I assert that the reason why the much coveted and sought after state of enlightenment is not common is because of the seriousness with which it is pursued. Lighten up, play with discovering how you have been put together as a human being, experience the beauty of being out of which the state of doing arises. Enlightenment is not possible from 'doing' it is only possible from 'being'. We can't 'do' intimate, we can only be 'intimate', we can't 'do' happy, we can only 'be' happy. Enlightenment is not common because of our emphasis on doing at the expense of being.
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Hey Margaret. It was great to stumble across your blog. Pardon the sometimes grammatically incorrect English and thanks for sharing your experiences. This is your first post I have read and I feel I can really connect with it. I like to call my self a seeker but I am somewhat junior to you.
Though I was initiated a long time back (about 1994 when I was 14) by a guru it is only now that I have seriously started seeking. I have been initiated into vedic shaiva tradition, which has meditation techniques very similar to buddhism. I am practising the Soham meditation which is given to me by master.
Though I am not a novice on this path, I have been on and off as far as My seeking has gone. But finally I have made 'seeking' my life's aim and purpose. I have been bruised and battered before on this path so I am bit edgey.
It was nice to read your blog.
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