Wednesday, 26 November 2008

To control or opportunity to choose.....

A short post.....because I am leaving early from work to go to the final evening of the communication course I was a coach for over the weekend. Since I have let go of the need to control, everything life has an ease and freedom that is nothing short of miraculous.

This was so obvious to me this this weekend. The last time I was a coach for this programme I was in my 'I have to control all of this' way of being. The result was me feeling stressed with papers flying everywhere and the people I was coaching not having the full benefit and feeling rushed. This weekend it was all so different. I had more people to coach than last time but the ease and freedom that was present was simply magical. I could see options and ways of being with my coachees that I couldn't last time and the whole experience was one of my most rewarding to date.

This morning was my last phone call with my coachees and each of them acknowledged me for how my coaching had made a difference. It is this yearning to 'make a difference' that is at the heart of the human spirit. No amount of money gives me the same high as hearing someone say to me 'what you said made a difference to me'. This is the reason I get out of bed in the morning....for the profound privilege of making a difference. While I was still being run by my need to control, the ability I had to make a difference was limited and dictated by my own 'control' agenda. Since being freed of that I can see just how free I am in being committed without being attached. Control comes with attachment, freedom with creation.

When we see something like a way of being that limits our potential (in my case control) and give it up, the energy that it was taking to maintain this obsession to control is freed up. What is it freed up to do? Wait for's freed up to Create! amazing is that. ...Energy is no longer needed to 'control' so on the other side of control is 'create' and this is what I did with my coachees this week. We created ways of being that resulted in them having huge breakthroughs in communication with people whom they had not been in communication with, in some cases, for many years. Given my assertion that once an insight is seen that the act of 'seeing' frees trapped energy, one has to ask oneself why hang on to perceived wrong-doings either against others or ourselves? To do this is only to trap energy that could be used to create the kind of wonderful magical life that we all dream about but are sceptical is possible. The result of this scepticism and trapped energy are ordinary and not extraordinary lives.

To opt for ordinary when the nature of our being, (if energy was allowed to flow freely and wasn't caught up in nurturing old hurts) is to be extraordinary is to deny what is our natural birthright as human being......


Anonymous said...

Comments to this blog have to be approved by you before publishing them online.

If you have truly let go of the need to control why not allow these comments to be posted direct to your blog without filtering them in the future.

Take a chance - stop being in control of this blog & allows others the right to comment uncensored - even if their comments don't meet with your approval.

Margaret Dempsey said...

This is a thought provoking comment that produced an interesting reaction in me when I read it. I had a fleeting thought as to what would you want to have on it directly that you wouldn't like me to see'll sit with that for a while....

When I first began to write this blog I did allow unmonitored comments and what I found was that it allowed a lot of spam. I control the comments not because I have a need to control the contributions to this blog but because I don't want readers to have the frustration of reading spam.

I can truthfully say that to date I have published all of the comments I have received. Why would I not publish comments. The sentence 'meet with my approval' caused me to smile because my approval has nothing to do with the validity of comments.

Comments for me are simply points of views (as are mine) they are not the Truth. So for me to expend precious energy in making judgements as to whether or not I approve of a comment that is sent to me is to reduce my power to create and this I will not do.

Thank you for your comment. I can assure you that I will continue to moderate the comments that come into this blog. But I also give my word that any comments received will be published.

My intention is for this blog to be an authentic account of a journey. This also includes peoples perceptions and interpretations and so I have no need to control any of these contributions.