Saturday, 13 December 2008

When I'm true to myself.....nothing is in the way..

I have often heard the words 'to thine own self be true', in fact I have often quoted them either in writing or to people but until I gave in my notice at work I had no idea of just how important it is to be true to one's own self. Since I have shown courage and faced up to the fact that the work I am doing has no integrity given who I am and what I want to do I have a level of self-expression and freedom that is miraculous for me. I am steady amidst all of the turbulence.

After work yesterday I had a real urge to go for a walk along the Thames. It was a beautiful clear night and at one point I stopped and looked at the lights shimmering on the water and Big Ben lit up in all its majesty and the beauty of the moment took my breath away. I felt my consciousness expanding and becoming one with what I was looking at. For a brief moment there was no separation between me, the process of seeing and what I was seeing. There was just ONE and the experience was all encompassing and all absorbing. I felt a strong well of happiness and peace well up from deep within me and was so moved and grateful that I am open to receive profound experiences like these. For me these experiences are spiritual and not psychic. They do not involve any visits from Angels, Guides or Animal Spirits. There is no visual component to them. They are experiences that affect me deeply at a feeling or intuitive level. I struggle to write exactly what they are like. I suppose the closest way I can get to describe how these experiences leave me is that to say that they leave me feeling like I am wrapped in an electric blanket.

When I got home I felt a strong urge to meditate. I lit a candle and kneeled down on my stool. Immediately my mind was quieter and without the need to control in the way that I have in meditation I felt myself drifting. It's so great not to have to control in the way that I did. The letting go of control is the beginning of freedom. I finished the meditation 45 mins later (which is unheard of for me) in such peace and relaxation. I have total faith in where my life is going. I know that I can create the most amazing and abundant life by having faith in the principle of abundance and by always being grateful for the little things, no matter how small. Gratitude is the gateway to happiness and abundance.....

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