Friday, 27 July 2007

Let life flow

I hadn't heard from the centre and I was convinced that this was because the manager did not want me to have the room and didn't want to tell me. This is what I made him not ringing me back mean. Finally I called him and the truth is that the owner who he needs to speak to to get authorisation is ill and he hasn't managed to speak to her. With the blinding flash of insight I saw that what I had made it mean was just a story, it wasn't the truth. And I saw how much I suffered when I believed my interpretation to be the truth. All I could know about the event was that he said he would call and he didn't. Everything else is just a story on my part and one which caused me suffering. The nature of us as humans is that we tend to make our stories about events that happen in our lives one's which do not empower us but rather bring us down. Why didn't I make it mean that he was so impressed with me that he was still trying to come to terms at the impact I had on him'......far more empowering for me it would have been. What this shows me is that we always have a choice about how we interpret the things that happen to us in life.

But why put an interpretation on the things that happen. If we don't make up such stories but just allow life to flow as it will then the mind is calmer and life is in balance. It is adding to life which puts stress and pressure onto life. Things happen in life, it is the nature of life. They happen because they happen and not because I said or did anything.

If I am waiting for someone and they are late. All it means is 'they are late'. It doesn't mean that they don't want to meet me, got a better offer etc, all it means is that he/she is late. By living life like this, it is far simpler and I am happier.

Having been dreading my performance appraisal at work it wasn't too bad. I am aware of how differently I think and sometimes when I'm in such a left brain environment I really strugggle to understand what is going on. I have a big picture vision which I find difficult to translate into tables and spreadsheets. Someone shows me a spreadsheet and my eyes glaze over and I lose the will to live. Yet this work is how I pay my bills so for the moment I must put more effort in but it is so difficult when my energy and attention is somewhere else.

This morning I walked through the park to work. It was a beautiful morning, blue sky and majestic trees. I just love walking in nature. I feel such deep inner contentment and the mind seems to be blank, there are no thoughts. Instead there is a feeling of being filled by something. As I write this I am aware that I am not doing justice to the experience but it is difficult to describe in words. Words seem in someway to diminish the power of the experience.

I believe that spending time in nature expands the consciousness because of the beauty and perfection of the natural world. It reminds me that this is the way the world is too but it is our perception which has distorted it so it doesn't appear to be whole complete and perfect. When the veil of illusion is removed from our eyes we will see the world as the perfect place it is.

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