Saturday, 16 May 2009

When the outer.....mirrors the inner....

This evening I returned from a weekend in London. Since writing my last post I have been in a very funny space. I've not been able to shrug off a feeling that I had sold out on something, but what.....I don't claim any of what I write to be the truth just ideas to be considered and debated so what was heavy feeling that I couldn't shake off. I felt really low in college this week, kind of restless and shaky. When I wrote that last entry I was thinking about Princess Diana who began off with laudable and inspirational aims but then the identity became stronger than her possibility and Diana the identity with her dramas took over the show and in the process many of the great things she had stood for somehow got lost. Diana the individual became more interesting than Diana the inspiration.

I was determined that I would not sacrifice the process of transformation or spiritual development call it what you will on the altar of personality identification. The moment I felt that this was what the blog had become, it was over. What this blog is trying to get across is a process it is not about Margaret the identity but about the ongoing tension that occurs between the identity which gives us our dramas and crises and that part of us that ultimately recognises that it's all a big play and we are all as Shakespeare said 'merely actors on the stage playing different parts'. I understand the truth of this at the deepest level and what I am attempting to do is to demonstrate how consciousness shifts from the dark to the light.

And yes, I have leaned heavily on the technology offered by Landmark Education to do this but it is not the only system. What is important is to halt the relentless operation of the identity (that we are not aware of) on the human consciousness by becoming self-aware. An object will continue moving in the same direction unless another object comes in its way and stops it. Any self-development or awareness programme acts as that object. The identity meets it, it ain't happy and the battle begins. Whoever flagged this blog up as objectionable might like to consider that action as coming from an identity that feels threatened in some way. The identity has as its raison d'etre, its survival and it doesn't care how it achieves it. Down through the ages, the emphasis has been on developing self-awareness, why? I asssert that it is to have the identity work for the consciousness and not the other way around.

Today when I returned and caught up with my emails I saw I had a comment on my last blog entry which on the one hand I didn't want and on the other hand, has made me re-consider my decision to end this blog. I have a request which I am going to ask of all of the readers and that is when you read entries to look at them as describing a process, not me as a personality. When I write this blog, I am not there, strange as this may seem to write. It is like I am a witness watching it all happen and yet I am incredibly grounded and clear about what is going on. If I can be confident that this blog will be read as describing a process which I believe is the process of consciousness awakening resulting in accelerated spiritual development, then I will continue. As I write this I am thinking in particular of my friend who vocalised my fear that it was turning into a soap drama. To him I say, if he continues to read this, I am writing about a process, it's not about me as an individual, it was never about me as an individual. Ultimately you have the final power in that you or anyone doesn't have to read it.

I have been watching events out in the world with much interest and looking beyond the appearance of what is happening to what might be deeper. I have been particularly intrigued by the issue of MPs expenses and what us as tax payers have funded. I see this as quite a powerful consciousness raising point because it hits every tax payer and has given rise to strong feelings of resentment and anger. Getting in touch with these feelings but not projecting them or expressing them is very important in the process of expanding consciousness. Space has to be created in order for the consciousness to shift. People feel angry and provided they don't act on the anger and, if possible, which would be marvellous, they are able to observe it going on within themselves as an interested observer then the space is created which will enable the consciousness to shift. The old has to be let go to enable the new to emerge, steadiness of consciousness is what is going to determine whether this process is connected or recommendation is for the former!......

As we move closer to the evolutionary shift of consciousness that is coming, other events are going to rock the foundations of what we consider to be stable and enduring. The crisis with MPs expenses strikes at the heart of a constitutional democracy, it has the power to bring everything crashing down like a house of cards. I don't know what's next but I am clear that there will be something. What there is to do is to remain steady, recognise the tendancy to react and in the observation of it, its nature will change. Everything that is happening has to happen in order for the next phase of evolutionary consciousness to begin...... It is already happening with people re-evaluating what is important. Self-empowerment programmes are going to become more popular as people bewildered by events finally turn within for an understanding they haven't been able to get from outside sources......

Everything in life depends not on what happens but on our own reactions to what happens. If we can have power over our reactions we have power over life......


Harry said...

Hello Margaret

I thought we'd lost you for a while back there.

Of course losing YOU can never really happen, but we could have lost the personality known as Margaret who took the decision to write this blog & then there would have been no personality writing about the process of becoming a 'no personality'. I jest!

It's really difficult maintaining a level of integrity that you have set for yourself. Because I know how sincere you are about this & I also know where you are coming from, which is wanting to be of service to others.

An attack from someone, ie flagging up 'objectionable content', would hurt at the very core of who you are. I think you are correct about your evaluation of the person who did this. The truth, or an attempt at representing the 'truth' in writing or communication often brings up this kind of resistance in people. Its a shock to them. Peoples positions are very important to them, right or wrong, people guard them. The ego is an insidious thing. I am always amazed at the ingenuity of the ego to catch me out.

At heart I am as soft as putty, I can't bear seeing anything hurt or injured even an insects well being becomes paramount to me. I spend ages putting flies & spiders etc out into the garden, even the most minuscule creature the size of a pinhead gets my attention. However, most people don't know this about me.

I have a reputation as someone not to be messed with. Someone who does not mince his words & my temper is legendary. But really it's defensiveness. I don't want people to see what a softie I really am, because I'm afraid of my feelings being hurt I adopt this defensive wall. It's horrible really, and I am somebody who is quite aware. I have done lots of awareness work. Trainings, Yoga, Reiki, Rebirthing, Meditation, received spontaneous Shaktipat & yet my mind still works me over. So in a way, it's not surprising that someone's buttons will get pushed by your writing.

I hope this makes some sense, I don't think I'm explaining myself very well. I'm afraid I am rushing a bit. I have some complicated legal papers to sort out because I'm in court tomorrow defending myself again. (Not in Jest!)

I think the further down the road we get in this kind of work the harder the lessons become. The mind seems to get trickier & the ego personality feels threatened because it's own survival is it's one job in life. It literally fights for its life, using every trick it has. It sometimes feels as if other dark forces also turn the heat up on anyone trying to break free of the control & limitation that fear & negativity bring.

You are working very hard on your course at the moment, maybe only commit to writing your blog once a week for the time being. The blog is fine. Its far from being a soap. I don't think anyone could describe a process as diverse & difficult as the spiritual path any better. You are sharing your truth & thats what really matters. Its your experience & your energy. You are not trying to preach to anyone or force your experiences or understanding of the truth on them. You are simply communicating who you are & what life is like for you on this path. What others make of it is entirely up to them.

Many good wishes


Margaret Dempsey said...

You have no idea how reassuring it is for me to know that there is one person who understands what I am trying to do with this blog and supports it.

The relief I felt when I read just how well you can see what my motivation is for writing it and how concerned I was to have had it flagged with objectionable content has given me the courage to continue. Even though I have never met you I feel deep and warm affection for you. I sense the softness and vulnerability behind the tough exterior and it moves me.

I also understand that you too are looking for ways to also make a contribution. We have in common a frustration that comes from wanting to share something with a world that mostly doesn't care. As I write this I am reminded of the allegory of Plato's cave. This is not to say that what you or I have to offer is the truth, it's just a place to stand.

Because the exams for this course are now just a few weeks away, I will only write one entry a week. This weekend is very special as it is my final weekend of the Landmark Team Management and Leadership programme.

Time is precious to me so I will leave a more detailed entry about this until after the weekend. Through this training I have become so familiar with the identity and how it operates.

Nothing is personal, the ironic tragedy of human being is that we make our views and opinions which are facets of our identity to be the truth of who we are. By such rigid thinking we become....the playthings of the Gods.

Bye for now...and thanks again