No....it's not possible...

On Thursday evening I had my 2nd Vortex healing group. I arrived early and was sitting reading a book when the person who is taking the group walked in. She gave me a beaming smile and sat down and earnestly asked me how I was. I explained that I had been incredibly tired and was apprehensive about coming again. She then said that she had been worried about me that I hadn't been grounded and that she was going to make sure that I was more grounded this week. I looked at her with huge gratitude that she should care so much when it's only a 4 week course. She then explained how in the west we spend most of our time in our head and don't connect with the body. This made sense to me but I wanted to be sure so I said to her 'so if I put my focus on my body I won't be as spaced out and tired as I was last week and my body won't do the violent convulsing that it did. She confirmed that this was so and I knew what I had to do. It was in line with the promise I made to myself to absorb myself in the experience and not stand apart from it.



The lady went to get the room ready and after a while I went up. The others arrived and we all lay down. I immediately put all of my intention on my body and I immediately felt a tingling sensation in my arms and legs. I sensed the woman behind me and then felt gentle hands on my head. After a few minutes she left to go to someone else. Then the current of energy started but I kept my consciousness focussed firmly on the body and was able to control it and finally stop it altogether and relax into the experience. I felt a huge difference by keeping my attention on my body. I realized just how little I feel my body and how I have been so much in my head. The next thing I knew my name was being called. I know that I hadn't been sleeping because I was wide awake when she called....so where did I go......



Everyone in the room sat up and we started to talk. One of the guys asked who the photo was that was on the mantelpiece. I had walked in and never seen the photo. I went rigid with shock when she said that the photos were of Mother Meera. This was amazing because some time ago I wrote a blog entry about my visit to Mother Meera and how I couldn't fathom why she had so many devotees when she never gives any teaching, just silent Darshan. I couldn't understand what people got from her. So for me now to be sitting in a room having a done a healing that was overlooked by the picture of Mother Meera was just a bit too much. I could feel the hairs rising on the back of my neck. But I know that it is because I am on this self-declared path that I see these co-incidences or synchronicities. Someone who is not on this path and not looking for signs for next steps wouldn't see anything strange in this. I didn't know this lady was a devotee of Mother Meera before I came. I didn't think Vortex healing had anything to do with Mother Meera. Has Mother Meera got a power that I have underestimated and when I knelt down at her feet to receive Darshan did she see a pair of sceptical eyes looking at her and want to prove something to me.



It reminds me of the story of Ram Dass who when brought to India to meet the Guru of a friend of his refused to bend down and kiss the feet of the Guru. Later that night the Guru spoke to Ram Dass and told him the night before he had come to the Ashram he had been outside looking at the stars and thinking about this mother. Ram Dass joined the Ashram after this, all of his doubts gone by the power of the Guru. This will be my third encounter with Mother Meera. The first time was when I took in a guy who was doing the same course as me and had nowhere to live. On Morning I got up and in one of my dessert bowls were some dried flowers. He declared himself a yogi and spent the entire time he stayed with me without working. I was annoyed to see one of my dessert bowls with these flowers. When I saw him I asked him what it was. He replied 'they are flowers from Mother Meera'. I exploded, Mother Meera, what about getting a job. That's how much I knew or cared about Mother Meera. I can't remember what happened to the dried petals. When the course was over he returned back to his country and I promptly forgot all about him and Mother Meera. I don't know how it happened but I came across a visit the Mother was making to London. I've written all about the lead up to this visit and my feelings, before, during and afterwards. Given all that I wrote there it is most strange that once again I found myself in her presence.



Feeling slightly unnerved and not knowing why I woke up this morning and had the strongest urge to go out for a run under the cliffs and let the sea calm my turbulent mind. After the healing I felt great, not at all tired which I was really grateful for. I woke up this morning feeling exactly the same. I got up quickly put on a tracksuit and began running. I immediately felt much calmer. I reached the sea and I felt the most incrediblel peace and bliss. While I was running I wondered about everything that is happening, or I am creating in my life at present and where it's all going to lead. I returned back to the house because I had no lectures and started to do some shorthand. But I was restless. I remembered what the lady had said about how we might feel after the evening as things were brought to the surface when space becomes available. She said to watch everything without entering into it and that is what I did for most of the day, just watched the turmoil in my mind without engaging with it.



This evening again I had a strong urge to go out to the sea. When I reached the sea the most amazing sunset was just beginning. I have seen some fabulous sunsets when I was in Varanasi, India but the one tonight was just incredible. I stayed for such a long time being still, silent and transfixed. There was nothing else but me and that sunset, nothing else mattered. The power of the connection I had is something that will stay with me for such a long time. I watched it with a heart filled with love and gratitude.....not knowing what is next but completely surrendered to the process...