Friday, 4 December 2009

Very short it's the early hours of Saturday morning and I am getting ready to leave...

There's one good thing about leaving home at the age of 11 to go away to boarding school and that is that I am an incredibly quick packer. Although how much is there is pack for an overnight! I tend to leave all of my packing until the morning because use the time sleeping to have strength for the morning which is always better for me than at night for writing and everthing. I am so lucky in that I do not have any trouble sleeping which is not the case for lots of my friends and I wonder why that is. Being unable to sleep is the result of an overactive mind one that cannot switch off. I suppose my mind now is so empty and there are few thoughts in it to keep me awake. I never worry when I go to bed. I can switch off simply and easily.

Yesterday when I was surfing the web I came across a website criticizing my hero Eckhart Tollle. I couldn't believe it but being open minded and not holding fast to any view I read it. There was a lot of what I call mind chatter in it that he is using his mind to understand a no-mind experience but I let that go. But one thing that did resonate was that he criticized Eckhart for going beyond the insights that his experience had given to him. In other words he added to his story claims that were not part of his experience. This resonated with me because it is always something that I am aware of - the danger of making the experiences mean all kinds of things. There is a danger in this. For me I also know that I have done this in the past. Now I am only going to speak about the experiences I had and what life was like for me before and after. This is the only thing that I have any authority over and it is the only thing that this critic couldn't touch Eckhart with. The mind is always going to criticize, that is normal because it cannot have the experience that Eckhart has. I have often written that the days and weeks following a powerful experience where the consciousness shifts is the most vulnerable time for the evolving consciousness. It is at this point with the shift from the external to the internal that the ego also shifts from being a materialistic ego focussed on things external to an internal ego, whose life becomes about sabotaging the emerging soul or spirit.

So finding this website has been a good thing for me. By being rigorous and vigilant and only sharing my experiences and the transformation in my way of being I cannot add anything. I can make assertions and claims but I can never claim to speak the truth about anything....except my own experiences and my own observations. For this I also have the late Manual Schoch to thank who was also rigorous about only speaking from his own experiences and observations. I still miss him and can only imagine how life would be if he was still alive in terms of having a teacher who I could really expand with as he was a mystic, neuroscientist and psychiatrist - the whole package for me and I still miss his loss so deeply.

Now....I must away and go for my train. I will nto be writing another post until Sunday evening..

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