Sunday, 23 August 2009

Harry's story - 'opening the heart'

I am thrilled to be able to print Harry's story of a Kundalini awakening experience. I received this account a few days ago but wanted to think about it myself before I made it available through this blog. Harry has been with me on the journey with this blog and it has been the posts from Harry which have kept me and this blog going when the temptation to give it up has been strong. So thank you again for that and I also acknowledge you for being your word and typing up a record of your experience. It might encourage others who have similar experiences to put pen to paper who up until now have been afraid to for fear of the reaction of others. But the consciousness is shifting and the sharing of experiences like Harry's is integral to the process.

On reading it I was struck by so many parallels with my own experience - the title of the event that brought about the experience - Opening the heart - my event was was called 'Awakening the heart', the intense emotion, the prior experience of a shaktipat initiation (see comment dated 27 November 2008 from Harry re this). The fear and then the difficulty in re-integrating the experience into the consciousness. What is most important when such experiences happen is to push past the fear that such experiences produce and transform the fear into trust and surrender. Fear is the last defence of the ego. There will be fear with experiences like these, what is necessary is to feel the fear and continue in full faith with trust and surrender.

I had intended the story to be available sooner but have had terrible trouble trying to copy and paste it. In the end I gave up and have re-typed it.

Harry's experience at the 'Opening The Heart' workshop in 1987

'I enrolled on this course about 2 years after doing the main 'Life Training Programme' which at that time was held as a large group training. The 'Opening The Heart' workshop I attended had about 1oo attendees & was held in a large ballroom in the hotel at Liverpool St Station in London and lasted Fri eve, Sat & Sun.

Usually when you sign up for a workshop like this you don't usually expect the course to literally produce the results of the title of the course. In my case the course did achieve exactly what it said on the tin & it 'Opened my heart'.

Strangely I cannot remember much about the details of the course. I had been in quite an emotional state for a week or two prior. Parts of the course have completely disappeared from my conscious memory. But obviously, a lot of the course consisted of getting in touch with your feelings & emotions. I felt nothing but upset during most of these processes, I remember crying when other people were simply getting on with it. I listened to lectures being given by the trainers & just wept.

I became almost distraught at one point & Brad (one of the founder trainers of the Life Training came & sat with me & put his arms around me). I loved Brad, he was (& is) so wise and kind. He was scary too, but only because he seemed able to be able t read your mind. Brad is one of those miracle people, full of mystery & yet so warm and down to earth.

At one point on the second day, Sunday afternoon, we were primed to do a process which would take two - three hours. The process started with a talk for about an hour & then we were to find partners. Somehow I found myself partnered up at the workshop with a beautiful blond lady about 37 years old called Melanie Coe. I had noticed this fantastic looking woman earlier on Saturdsay, but kept my distance & had not spoken to her.

We partnered up & introduced ourselves & stood facing each other. The process was in two parts & we were split into two groups. Half the group stood facing their partner & the other half sat in a circle in the centre of the room. The process started with some music & a kind of commentary given by one of the trainers, I can't remember much else. We just stood for ages looking straight into the eyes of our partner, I remember looking into Mel's eyes and feeling stunned by the beauty in them and her warm, smiling, friendly face. After about 10 minutes of Mel, spontaneously put her arms out and on my shoulders and I started to shaking uncontrollably, she just kept looking into me smiling with her lovely face. Then I had an experience I can only explain as a complete opening of my energy channels. it felt as if I was starting to expand out of my body. I experienced masses of energy just flowing down through my crown and out through my hands and feet and surrounding my entire body. It was literally flowing out as if I had been a hose of huge conduit for energy. I remember my whole face just lit up with a joy I have never experienced and tears were rolling down my cheeks, tears of joy this time though. I could feel something lifting me also, the energy was causing me to start floating off the floor and upwards. To this day I'll swear that it was actually lifting my entire body and not just my consciousness.

I'll never know what Mel though because I started moving away from her and she just stood warmly smiling back at me as though she had expected it. I was walking or as it seemed at the time 'floating' around the hotel ballroom with my arms involuntarily out in front of me and the palms of my hands facing at people. It seemed as though I could literally bath the others with this energy pouring through my hands. I was sure they felt it because I could see people tilting back as I went around the room aiming these huge blasts of, water cannon like energy, from my hands at them and because everyone including the trainers were staring at me. I felt they must have been able to see what was happening because it was so real. It was pure love flowing through me and I could just bathe everyone in it. I felt total love and connection with everyone in that room. I could feel this column of energy about me that was pouring in through my own crown opening and starting to pull me into it. My field of vision seemed to be well about the floor and towards the ceiling, but I could feel this energy pulling my whole body up into a kind of people staring at me were looking up and I was looking down at them. I could not see my physical body standing on the floor (as people describe in near death memories) because I was sure it was up there with me. I remember feeling a slight fear at this point because I felt I could literally be taken up into this light that surrounded me and float off and up through the celing and out into the starts. I know it sounds mad, like a hallucination, but I hadn't taken drugs and never do.

One thing I remember is that I knew it could happen, that I could have left my body that afternoon or even taken my body with me, because it was not solid anymore, it was all energy and I felt I could have gone and never returned from that light that was pulling me gently up if I had chosen to do so. But I knew that I had the control. A part of me wouldn't let go and allow myself to be taken. It was that slight fear that kept me from going fully into the energy. All the room was a shimmering energy also and it all seemed to be behind a mist and had an unreal feeling about it. Obviously I could have been in an altered state of consciousness and probably was but that doesn't explain the way everyone was looking at me near the ceiling. A bit later I heard one of the trainers gently bringing the session to an end and I immediately felt myself floating back down into the room. Everyone still seemed to be looking at me, including the trainers. I felt sure they were afraid I was going to go up through the ceiling and lose me and had brought the process to an end prematurely.

Don't worry I know this sounds like science fiction, like something out of 'The Matrix'. I have often thought about it and wondered if I dreamed the whole thing, but it's not possible, it really happened.

Afterwards I was wiped out and very emotional. I was in no fit state to share and no one encouraged me to either which was unusual because, sharing was part of the process. In fact no-one mentioned anything to me, I just sat in my seat oblivious to most of what was going on after that. I never saw Melanie again either. Somehow the course ended and I got home. It was just bizarre. It took me days to come down off the high that this had produced, but also it was a painful experience re-integrating my consciousness back into a normal reality. I often wished I had go and gone into the light forever at times. My emotions were everywhere. In fact even to this day I live on an emotional rollercoaster. I started to think I must have gone mad and perhaps no-one at the training had noticed anything happen to me. Somehow though I know they did. I just don't think anyone knew what to say or do. I think, somehow Melanie was the trigger or catalyst for me. It must have been something about her openness and warmth that triggered this. Perhaps her sexuality, her natural shaktiness and femininity?

I think because of my earlier Kundalini awakening through Shaktipat I was primed for this to happen. I believe this was a Kundalini experience but it was real and I believe it is in all our destinies to eventually ascend into this light. Maybe if I hadn't had that slight fear and let go I wouldn't be here writing this now. Maybe that's the reason why I didn't. All my life I have felt as if I have had some higher purpose and failed to find it. I'm no saint and if this can happen to me if can happen to anyone. As the saying goes 'ask and you shall find'. That has been key for me. The only thing I have done that is perhaps slightly different to a lot of people and could have brought me through to all of these experiences is my burning curiosity to know 'who am I really?', what is my real purpose and meaning in life, why am I here'.

Thank you for reading this

Additional from Harry 'Finally, I must say also to Melanie Coe if she reads this - I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I did write to Mel in Spain about a year ago. Also Brad Brown & Roy Whitton Founders of 'The Life Training' & The Kairos Foundating & trainers on my 'Opening the Heart' workshop. I hope you don't mind me sharing.

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