I made every move I did in the Kundalini yoga class this evening a move of gratitude for this energy and for what it is making possible for me. I returned from Ireland having taken responsibility for the first time in my life. I am incredibly lucky to still have both parents alive and I am so grateful for this. My dad is elderly and requires constant care. My mum has been looking after him for almost three years without a break. Deep down I knew that I should be the one to give my mum the break but immediately came the thought 'you can't do it', you wouldn't be able to cope'. Going home this time it was all so different. Having distinguished that it was just my inner saboteur running the story about not being able to do it, I knew without any doubt that I could do it. I could take the responsibility and it would be alright. I went home and my mum had her first break away in almost three years. It is difficult to describe how great it was to have a purpose for going home. A man once said 'when you put your ass on the line for something, you become someone' and I really experienced the truth of that when I was at home this time. Seeing my mum so happy going off and coming back was so special to me and for me to have made it possible for her to have the break really meant a lot to me. So I have such a lot to be grateful for....
At the end of the class the teacher invited us all to a morning of celebration of the death of the teacher Yogi Bajan who died 10 years ago tomorrow. It will be a morning of chanting in a park...I'll see what my own inner teacher says to me tomorrow about going....when I wake up!
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