Monday 3 August 2009

Have been so busy.....with friends who have come to visit..

I have so much to write that I don't know where to start. Everything is all set up with my evening talk on my book and the six week meditation course on the three stages to spiritual enlightenment in September. The posters have all been done and I have given one to the shop and put another one up in the library. Since the structure of the three stages came through intuitively I have the ease and confidence that comes with being in integrity with who I am and what I want to do. My biggest challenge is having to do it on my own.

A couple of years ago I stumbled across a book by Robert Kiyosaki called 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and when I read it was inspired by its philosophy. I didn't do anything about it. Then a couple of days ago I got an email that spoke about the 'Rich dad, poor dad' coaching programme which was now being offered. I must have emailed back for more information because out of the blue when I was walking outside I got a phone call from this man in America who is part of this programme. We had a conversation about what it is I could gain by being part of this coaching programme and I had a thought that it would be a good way of marketing my book if I could get a foot into America like this. He told me that not everyone is accepted onto this programme and that there would be two interviews. He asked me if I would be prepared to do another interview. When I said 'yes', he said that he would send me an email that had four questions and that I was to think about them and have answers ready when another guy would call me in one hours time (I agreed this time).

Luckily I was quite close to where I live so got home quickly. I turned on on the internet and sure enough the email was there and contained the four questions which were about goals and challenges. Dead on the hour the phone rang and the man on the other end of the line introduced himself. He asked me what I wanted and I said that it was to share my three stages to enlightenment in a way which is meaningful and moves others. Then to my amazement he said 'the person who most moves me in this field is Eckhart Tolle!.....this was so eerie for me because Eckhart for me is the most authentic teacher in this incredibly crowded field and for him to not only to know him but also to rate him was very powerful.

This American man then went on to say something which really spoke to me. He said 'are you trying to tone down what you have to say so that people will understand'. This set me thinking and I replied 'yes, what is the point of sharing if people don't understand' and then he said 'I don't understand anything that Eckhart says but I know it is the Truth because of how I feel when he speaks'. This really hit me. He advised me not to make any amendments to my stages to make them more easily understood but to be authentic about these stages and not worry if people understand them or not. This has given me a huge amount of freedom around my talk in September and the course. After this he went on to explain what the year-long coaching programme would produce and what commitments were demanded from me in order to have the success at the end. The biggest one as you can imagine was the financial one. When the amount was given I had a sharp intake of breath, it was a lot. I would have been forever paying it off. What's more it was an upfront amount, no programme of installments. And yet, there was also another voice saying 'it's really tough doing it on your own, you have always talked about getting a coach to be an ally in all of this', and then another voice going 'but once you have handed over that money, that's it' and what are you really going to get'. There was this game of thought tennis going on in my head.

I also remembered seeing an article about Robert Kiyosaki and he has a sister who is a Buddhist nun so I don't doubt the authenticity of the coaching programme (I know call me naive!) but there was still some resistance in me. I explained my financial position to the man and said that it would not be in integrity for me to sign up to this programme at this point in time but that I had all the details and would consider it. He to his credit was very gracious and said that I had 'chosen powerfully' and that is all that Robert has asked. He gave me a private number and said to call him at anytime in the future. After the phone call I sat motionless wondering how this all had happened and knew immediately that the real purpose of the call was not for me to join any coaching programme but to have that conversation about not altering one thing of the three stages of enlightenment programme that has come to me, even if there are some aspects to it that I don't understand, it was these I was trying to adapt. Now I know that I give it out just as I have received it without anything added or anything taken away.

So often these days I get filled up with this amazing bliss and contentment. I find it is since I started doing kundalini yoga. I can just be walking and I'll get hit with the most indescribable joy and feel so happy and grateful. On Sunday I was doing the yoga and my inner voice was most vicious with thoughts like 'you're not doing it right, you're useless'. No matter, how I tried to say to myself 'they are just thoughts, products of the mind, they have no power only what I give to them' I felt quite powerless and at one stage stopped the exercise I was doing completely'. At the end of the class I spoke to the woman who is still covering and explained about this. To her credit she listened and then explained that the whole purpose of the yoga was to get to the neutral mind where thoughts are neither positive or negative. She then told me about an exercise to balance the right and left sides of the brain which turned out to be a pranayama or breathing exercise. A few blog entries earlier I had said how surprised I was that there was no pranayama exercises in the kundalini yoga and now here I am being given my own personal exercise! She said to start with 3 mins and build up to 11 mins morning and evening and so this morning found me practicing it. I have no idea what the purpose is but like everything when one commits to this path, it comes down to trust and surrender....there is no map.....

Tonight I am going to my seminar series which I was given when I reviewed the landmark forum. It is on money and I have found the distinctions around money powerful in these times when it is not as abundant as it has been in the past. I realised that while having money makes life easy, it does not bring happiness. If it did, why are so many people with money....so miserable.....

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