Am really annoyed and trying not to be which is incredibly inauthentic. I had been assured that I would have internet access when I returned home so I armed myself with my laptop which is an older model and so not the lightest, all my cables because of a badly performing battery and got home. Brought everything out to the amusement of my elderly parents, connected everything and then couldn't believe it when up came as bold as brass 'no signal'....aagh.....if I had the person who had reassured me that I would have access it wouldnt' be polite to write what I would do. This is a very interesting reaction on my part for one who is supposed to be spiritual. I just get to see just how nasty I can get when things don't go my way.
So now I am in a hotel paying a criminal cost to scribe this blog. Seeing this nasty side of me reminds me of when I saw that I have a way of being that says 'push me and I'll kill you'. I remember the dismay I felt when I saw this especially with studying and practicing Mahayana Buddhism for almost 10 years...it wasn't a nice discovery. But this is what 'know thyself' is all about. It's not 'judge thyself', it's just a case of 'oh, so that's there, time running out gotta go......
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