I woke up early this morning with a deep sadness and the face of my dear friend Tracey sprang into my mind, closely followed by a despair that I will never see her again to say what a fool I was for not keeping up the close friendship we enjoyed for over 15 years. Since she died such a lot has been happening. I am meeting with the lady I met on a train to speak about setting up a meditation centre tomorrow afternoon. I have been asked to submit ideas for a regular column for a magazine. Things are now moving around me which have never moved and I am sure that it is her. I had terrible blackness the days after she died but that has now lifted and I am looking forward today to meeting her friends and family who she had talked so much about.
I know and accept that there will be awkward moments and I am prepared for the questions for why I lost contact. I can't undo the past, that has happened and I did what I did but out of it I can create myself as a powerful and compassionate friend for my other friends. Tracey taught me that friendship is not 50/50 the way I saw it, but it is me taking 100% responsibility for having my friendships work and be rewarding. This is a great gift that Tracey has left me. So 10.30am me and my trusty sat nav are going on a 2 hour journey to Tracey's funeral. I know that she will know that I am there. I have felt her presence so strongly since she died and more importantly I know that she has forgiven me.
The body dies, but the consciousness and soul lives on. I don't have proof of this I just feel so strongly intuitively that this is the way it is. Tracey was the kindest, warmest, funniest, most compassionate woman and a dear dear friend.....today and always may she rest in peace....
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