The wait is finally over....I didn't get the job

This morning I received a phone call giving me the news that I hadn't got the six months maternity cover job I had applied for. Some time ago the guy from the gym gave me an ipod as a present and on it he had uploaded many motivational audio-books. I had started listening to them for an hour each morning before I got up. This morning I was listening to Stephen Covey's book 'The 7 habits of highly effective people'. I really became alert when the section started on brain dominance and was amazed when he said about the differences between the left brain and the right brain. He said that the left brain is for management and the right brain is for leadership. Something about this statement resonated strongly with me. The eye and the brain are connected and I have long asserted that because I don't have sight in my right eye that my left brain is not as developed as my right, which has developed more to compensate for the lack of activity in the left. This is why I feel so at home with spiritual energy and there is no learning involved for me. On the other hand this blog is littered with instances where I have struggled with spreadsheets and things of a management flavour. I saw in a flash that I have everything it takes for leadership and nothing for management.

So when the phone call came today I was much less disappointed than I would have been if I hadn't had this insight. In fact, there was some relief. This is not the first time I have made this link. I have written letters to optometrists asking them about the link between the eye and the brain and the few answers I have got have been vague. But I am sure that there is a link between the lack of sight in my right eye and my very poor left brain abilities. And to think....that I was once again going to put myself in a high level management position. That would have been crazy. So not being successful in getting this job has been a blessing for me. I would have been happy going back to see everyone I left behind and thank you once again to that kind person who sent me the link to the job description but it wouldn't have been too long before the reality of the lack of left brain abilities would emerge. I am going to own my huge potential to be a leader and have the full self-expression that characterises a leader. I am aware that the path of someone like me who is right brain dominant is not as easy or smooth as someone who is left brain dominant but I'm tired of being like a square peg forcing myself all the time to fit into a round hole.

What is also interesting is that some years ago I sent off a book proposal to many editors for a book that I was going to call 'Right brained woman living in a left brained world', but I didn't have any success with this either. Maybe it's going to be after I shuffle off this mortal coil that the link between the eye, brain and spirituality will be discovered....I feel certain that the profound spiritual/mystical experiences I have is more to do with advanced right brain development than a Divine throw of the dice where I got lucky. I suppose I did get lucky in that my refusal to wear horrible glasses when the condition was diagnosed when I was a child meant that I have co-operated with everything that has happened...

What a strange day....