Saturday, 21 November 2009

Technology and me....who would have guessed it...

I have joined the 21st century in terms of having mobile technology on the move. I now have a lovely light netbook which travels everywhere with me now. Earlier today I was in a battle with the identity of my landlady as it worked on her overnight drumming up every possible reason why she shouldn’t do a weekend which gives an access to freedom and happiness. It is so frustrating for me and I have to remember that it is all empty and meaningless and the important thing is to play full out. To confront the identity of human being at every opportunity and not to be afraid. To be straight about what I think and to take whatever I get. I am so steady in this now that even in the midst of what was a very vicious verbal attack from that part of her that is hell bent on keeping her small and ordinary I could see what was going on and I held firm. There was nothing for me to protect therefore there was no threat to my own survival. In the end she spoke to her therapist who said that she was far too vulnerable to take on the first part of the powerful training that I am pleased and proud to be doing.

I have also seen that I can still keep my childlike consciousness in terms of being excited, passionate and playful about life and what it has to offer. The combination of playfulness and excitement is infectious. All I have to do is recreate the excitement shown by children when they discover something new and their natural inclination to share and show whoever is around what they have discovered. This is the way of being that I am going to adopt. It’s not going to be difficult because it is what I already am. The difference now is that I am consciously adopting that way of being and it will be in combination with being in the adult world. It won’t be a playfulness and excitement that irritates which is what it has been in the past. I am committed that it’s going to be a playfulness and excitement that inspires and moves people to rediscover the lost childlike consciousness in themselves.

I wonder if it was the decision I made not to enter the adult world that is responsible for me never being able to decide on and work towards a career. I said in an earlier blog that what I thought was spiritual was just a decision made when I was an upset five year old... but maybe that decision was the Divine gift.

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