Saturday, 7 March 2009

Between two cities....wonder in both....

I left my house early this morning to go to London to do my three hour office agreement. It was a beautiful sunny morning and I felt such a sense of urgency to get to the top of the road where my consciousness would be treated to the sight of the sea. I wasn't disappointed, there it was in all its power and magnificence. When my eyes see this sight it is like my consciousness is on an elastic band. It leaves and connects with what it sees so that my eyes, the sea and how I see all become one and there is nothing but complete and utter absorption. It is so hard to write about the power of this. In that space of nothing I am in the presence of everything and that is what is just so amazing and magical. Shift happens when there is a mind with no-thought or to put it another way utter absorption and connection creates shift. Looking at the sea with nobody around I felt such joy, bliss and stillness.

On the train next to me was a group of what I can only call just achieved puberty boys. The conversation was so enlightening in terms of how they see members of their opposite sex. None of the girls talked about had a name, it was ' that the one with skanky hair'! One boy who looked like he had only just been prised from his mothers breast declared that he had two girls on the go and that the first time had had lasted 'five minutes, but he had to 'talk to her for ages first!' I was highly amused at this and had to really bury myself in my shorthand book not to smile. Someone else might have been horified at such attitudes and tut to themselves about 'the youth of today' but for me it was a real privilege to have the opportunity to be in the world of the young people. In this world where a lot of people are jaded and tired of a recession that has now lasted almost 15 months to be around young people who are excited about what life has to offer and their confidence that they can have it work for them was inspiring to me.

I arrived at the office for my agreement and to my disappointment found that I was the only one doing the agreement at this time. I found this really amazing in that I speak about how the identity creates situations to keep us small. My identity uses my point of view which is 'I'm not loved, I'm alone' to ensure I play small by not putting myself forward with people. Here it was again, I was on an agreement and there was nobody with me! I had a fleeting thought to leave but then immediately knew that this is what the identity wanted. It was my moment of truth to be my word and stay or give into my identity and leave. I chose the former. I did something I wouldn't usually do in that I picked up the phone and called my coach to say that this didn't work for me and I wanted some support around being powerful to do the agreement. This resulted in another phone call to another person who called me and I ended up having a powerful conversation which resulted in me having conversations with graduates about what they want to have in their life and sharing how I am creating the life that I want purely through the power of communication.

I was thrilled because on this agreement I really listened to what it was people said they wanted to have in their lives. Usually I don't listen and just go on and share what I have got from the training. I recognise that I do this out of fear that if I listen then I'm not in control of the conversation and I might say the wrong thing. When I'm in control of the conversation then I occur to myself as being more powerful. However this is just how it occurs for me it's not the way it is. How it may occur for the person on the other end of the phone is of being talked down to or me just being concerned with what I got without having any thought about how it can be applied so that they get what they want for themselves. For the first time on agreement I really saw that and I took on training myself in listening and out of it I had two graduates confirm that they will come along to the evening session of the next communication curriculum so that they can have love and affinity in all of their communication at all times. This is what the communication curriculum promises and it is what it delivers.

I finished my agreement and went out into the brilliant sunshine with that feeling that only comes when we make a difference to someone. By saying all of this I do not mean to be evangelical. There are lots of ways out there to make a difference, the training I am doing is not the only one. However having studied and read lots of things, for me it has been the most amazing year of training in achieving what I have achieved and what I am going on to achieve. Transformation doesn't stop, it can't. It is the energy that fuels the consciousness to shift from human to spiritual. A shift that is happening whether we like it or not. To co-operate and not resist is how to transition with freedom and ease.

I arrived back in Brighton tired but happy and let myself into the house where I am staying. I had a lovely chat with the family. My last words before I dropped off to sleep were...'how great thou art'....I didn't know to who I was addressing this but that doesn't matter.......

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