Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Today.....I experienced heaven on earth

This evening I did something that I have been promising myself to do since I moved down here and that is to go out for a run along the beach. There is definitely a reason for me being in this environment. The woman of the house who regularly runs by the beach has been speaking to me about it continuously so I haven't been able to forget. She also told me about organic Guarana she takes for increased endurance and stamina. I seem to be getting lots of messages about my spiritual path from this environment that I find myself in. College finished early and feeling the kind of restlessness that I am since doing the first evening of the Vortex healing I had such a strong desire to go for a run. It was a beautiful day here so I got home quickly changed and ran outside. The moment I saw the sea all the angst and turmoil that has been my constant companion for the last week disappeared and I knew the reason why I was now out running. Words or at least mine, don't do justice to the immense feeling of peace, calm and bliss I felt running beneath the protection of white cliffs with a vision of the sea as far as the eye could see.

The sea was twinkling and shimmering and the faster I ran the more mystical it felt. At one point there was total absorption to the point of nothing else. I experienced a one-pointedness of focus which was nothing short of bliss. I felt so close to something so much bigger than me yet also a part of me if that makes sense. I finished my run grateful that the pent up tension and restlessness was gone. I hadn't written about it but I had been feeling strange currents of energy that I didn't know what to do with, running calmed it all down and now intend to go for a run at least 3 times a week. I came back to where I am staying and had a shower.

Earlier in the day I had gone into Brighton to get some new tapes for my dictaphone. There is no way that I am even going to attempt shorthand. On Monday we did mock interviews with this actor who was playing the role of a drugged out rock musician. That morning I checked the tape for all of a minute...seemed fine. At the interview, I confidently put the tape down in front of him and started asking questions. It was nerve racking because the tutor was in the room watching and making notes to give us feedback as to what worked and what didn't with our interviewing techniques. I was nervous already so didn't attempt any notes putting full and unfailing confidence in my gadget. 5 minutes into the interview, glanced at my tape...aagh..not working, I looked again willing it just to be that I didn't see the little wheels going around..nothing. Major, blind panic set in....lurched across the table to where thankfully a pen was lying dormant and started to scribble furiously. After that I didn't hear much of what he said and I certainly wasn't focused to get all the information I needed. At the feedback the lecturer told me how important it was to make sure that all of the equipment was working. He then gave a dig about how shorthand would have saved that situation....nightmare

So now I've got new tapes, new batteries and I am ready to roll. The strange thing is that on Saturday I had a thought about getting new tapes but dismissed it by saying 'the old one's will be OK for this interview'. Lesson about intuition......ignore it at your peril. My intuitive voice was very strong to get new tapes and I ignored it and paid the price. In the beginning when one begins a spiritual journey this voice is very quiet because the identity and ego is stronger but if we persevere and have the commitment to act from intuition then gradually it will get stronger. I want to make a difference between lower and higher intuition. The intuition I am speaking about is higher in that it doesn't involve any feelings on my part. It comes through like a kind of instruction. Lower intuition always has a feeling component associated with it and once feelings get involved the pure intuitive urge is somewhat tainted. This is not to say that emotion and feelings don't come into intuition, they do but only at a later stage.

Many of the great breakthroughs have come through intuition and then action which comprises feelings and emotions come next. Today at this interview I will listen intently to what questions my intuition is guiding me to ask. The fact that I am getting what is a very rare interview given that I don't think anyone would interview without offering it to a magazine makes it more special. I want it to be the best feature in my examination portfolio as a kind of thank you for everything that Buddhism has given and continues to give even though the only practice I do any kind of regular basis is meditation......

While I was in Brighton I stopped off at a shop that sells organic Guarana. The lady I live with had shown me hers and had invited me to have some. These days without a teacher I am very much alert to messages that come to me via others from the universe. I bought a small jar of the powder and had a little in water when I came back from my run. When it gets to late at night I am usually tired but perhaps after the run and the Guarana I am full of beans and.....it is very late......

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