Tuesday, 10 March 2009

The light is too uncomfortable...for those who want to stay in the dark...

The title for this blog entry came to me when I was gazing out at the sea from the window during one of our breaks at college today. What I am referring to is the killing of a police man in Northern Ireland last night - the third member of the security forces to to be killed in 48 hours. It is sad because it is a reminder that the identity which is not personal has no interest in peace, bliss, joy or harmony. It operates as an individual purely concerned with 'I and mine'. It has no interest in unity or connection and will use every means both fair and foul to ensure that such namby pamby values such as peace, and harmony do not survive. This is human nature so why should the killings have shocked and sadenned me so much. The identity thrives on uncertainty and has no interest in all of humanity living peacefully together. What I feel is a frustration at being able to see what is operating and yet being powerless to do anything about it except to raise awareness through this blog. But ever mindful that what I am asserting is a view, it is not the truth.

I didn't write my blog last night because I was so tired. I was in a dark place for most of Sunday so that on Monday even though I felt so much better I didn't have the energy to write this blog. Monday is a long day even though it doesn't start until 11.15am, it doesn't finish until 6pm. I am no owl and I find writing or studying late at night not easy. I am far happier getting up in the early hours of the morning to meditate and do some study but late at night forget it.

Yesterday I contacted a Buddhist centre here with the aim of having an interview with the spiritual director for an article I would do for my portfolio and then submit to one of the Alternative magazines. I called up and introduced myself and requested the interview. I was politely told that the spiritual director doesn't give interviews for magazine articles. I wa so amazed at this. The world is crumbling, people are desperately looking for something else now that the materialism bubble has well and truly burst and someone who could provide some words of hope and inspiration not to mind swell the numbers of people who might register for their courses is not prepared to do so. When I heard this I racked my brain for some words from the Buddha to the effect of 'you shall not give interviews to wannabe journalists' but unfortunately I couldn't find any. It is true that you will never find a Buddhist on a street corner handing out leaflets promoting the philosophy but I would have thought that refusing to be of service and lessen the suffering of people who are looking for something new and different is kind of going against the Dharma or Buddhist wisdom.

What's really going on here is that I'm pissed off that I can't get an article out of it and I'm coming over all righteous and superior. This is how the identity operates, covers up what is really going on with a veneer of altruisim which is nothing but hypocrisy really. But I will persevere I will visit the centre and see what I can glean from a visit there. I hate to give up on something once I have made up my mind that I'm going to do it....so watch this space.....

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