After I finished writing my blog last night I went into my bedroom to prepare a ritual for connecting with the Ascended Master Djwhal Khul. I assembled the gold candle and lit it, found the picture of Master Khul in my purse. I didn't want to take the picture out of my purse because is is only paper so precious minutes were spent trying to balance the purse precariously beside the candle with the flap open so I could see his picture. Then I balanced myself on my meditation stool and started to read the invocation to this Hierophansis who would be the intermediary and connect me to Djwhal Khul....yeah right. The only light I had was the light from the candle so I couldn't really see what I was reading. I persevered valiantly and when I had finished reading the invocation I put the paper aside and started to meditate. What a shambles. My mind was everywhere. At one point I thought I could smell burning and thought that the candle had taken fire to the purse. It was a complete and utter shambles and afterwards I felt so stupid.

I had been so sure that I would make a connection but then this is what the mind does it sets up expectations. I have found on this path that I am daring to call spiritual that it is when I have the most expectation that I have the least results. The energy of this Ascended Master was strong around me yesterday that it seemed the right next step somehow to make contact with the energy but it's obviously not and so once again I must be patient and wait for the next step that will unfold without any expectation from me. Time and time again I get taught this lesson and I never listen. I think I know better how this path is going to unfold for me and that is nothing but egotistical arrogance which on the spiritual path is severely punished.

I finished the meditation early and the rest of evening felt so flat. This is an effect of expectation when the mind creates expectatations that don't happen it colours the rest of life. This is why if possible a life lived without any expectation is a happy life. Imagine a life without thoughts or expectations what would that look like. Our thoughts determine whether or not we are happy. We believe our thoughts to be the truth and give them the power to make us happy or unhappy. Bryon Katie has written a great book called 'who would you be without your story'. It is the same as saying 'who would you be without your thoughts' because it is our thoughts that create the story we put around events that happen in our lives. I was heartened to read that she had her experience of awakening in 1986 and yet I have only been aware of her and her work in the last couple of years. It seems to take time for an experience of Awakening to settle down into a form that can be taught and inspire others. Maybe I just want everything too quick.

Today I had a lovely surprise at work. A guy who I don't know and who works in a different department to me sent me an email asking if he could buy my book. I was thrilled and sold him a copy this morning. Some time later I got an email saying how much he was enjoying it.

This is the beauty of life and being open to every opportunity the magic and miracles that happen every day....