On Friday night I stayed with a woman who is doing the same training course as me who is a psychotherapist. We stayed up late into the night chatting over a bottle of wine. I was ranting about how much suffering our ego/identity causes us. She listened to me patiently for a while then said quietly 'can't you see that if it wasn't for the ego/identity that we wouldn't be able to experience life'. I was completely stunned as I hadn't considered it in this way. i had been stuck inside my view that the ego/identity is a thief that robs us of experiencing our Divine essence. Her comment has really made me think and as a result I am feeling much more compassionate to the ego/identity. I will still challenge it when I see it operating but now from a stand of compassion for what is possible than in a direct confrontational challenge which is what I have been doing up to now. The path of spiritual transformation is so fluid and one of the traps on it is to become stuck in some point of view. I am very lucky in that I listen intently to everything that is said because without a teacher, the people I meet and what they say to me become my teachers.
I am writing this before I leave to catch a plane to go and see my family in Ireland. I am going home with the intention of delivering invitations to an introduction I am doing in my home just before Christmas to give my family and friends the gift of being in the environment of the energy of the training programme I am on. I am a mixture of nervousness and excitement. I understand now why I was initially drawn to this training. The training is leading edge training in leadership by the education and coaching that is provided. However, because it is so leading edge it is often greeted with scepticism. This scepticism that I used to meet fed my ego/identity and kept alive the belief that adults were a threat. Nothing gave me the experience of being threatened more than when I shared about this training and invited others to come along to evenings to find out what might be possible for them from this training in areas of life that are important to them.
I have noticed since I have discovered this that I am so able to be with anything that is said to me. There were a few occasions this weekend where things were said to me that in the past I would definitely have seen as a threat that had no effect now only to make me smile. There is nothing to protect therefore there is no fear anymore. I am creating my way of being when I go home today to be playful, excited and passionate and I am going clear in my mind that my family and my friends are most important and I want them to have anything they want for themselves and their lives from the education and training I am doing and I have experienced that what this training promises......it delivers......it has for me and for over 1.1 million people worldwide who have participated....
I called my mum yesterday when I was on a bus to let her and my dad know that I was coming because I didn't want to shock them by just arriving on the doorstep! My mum was firstly shocked and then delighted and it was great to hear her. When I finished I caught the eye of a man who was sitting opposite me. He said how hearing me speak to my mum brought back memories of his mum who he had lost in Italy 10 years ago. I was so aware as he was speaking about his mum and the Alzheimers that she had that I was so present to him and what he was saying. This was a stranger who in the past would have been a threat to me and who I would never have struck up a conversation and here I was on the 29 bus speaking with this man like we had known each other all of our lives. When he got off he thanked me for listening and told me to enjoy the precious time I was very lucky to have. It was a really lovely experience speaking to someone without experiencing any fear or threat....
Now....am off to catch the plane. I will try to keep up this blog while I am away but am not going to promise....
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