Other levels of surrender....

Today at work the computer decided to act up. It froze for no reason, kicking me out so I had to shut down and start up so many times. When I look at my colleagues and how they never seem to have any problems with their system I wonder whether or not it is my state of mind which is somehow impacting on the computer.

I notice that when I'm feeling happy that the computer works OK but when I'm unsettled or feeling that I am wasting time opting for a safe job which pays the mortgage then this tends to reflect itself in computer problems. This is just an observation of mine. What I noticed though was that in the past these computer problems would have stressed me out. Not this time, I calmly turned the computer on and off about three times and finally whatever glitch there was sorted itself out and after that I had no more problems.

I realised that the reason I didn't stress about it was because I surrendered to what was happening and didn't fight it. To surrender means to accept whatever is happening at the time. Surrender doesn't mean one has to like it, but just not to fight it. When we accept what is happening without fighting then peace, calm, balance and harmony can be brought to the situation and it will resolve itself.

Each time we surrender to what is at that moment we create an expansion of consciousness which reduces stress levels. I have already spoken about 2 levels of surrender. The 3rd level of surrender is when we surrender our wants and desires at a personal selfish level to a greater good. We surrender the personal to the universal. This is not easy. The design of us as humans is to expect and demand self-gratification. To discipline this want can and does meet with resistance. In most people the mind exists to meet the needs demanded by our senses. The mind through the ego acts to fulfill the physical material desires.

At some point on the spiritual mind the ego mind will receive an energetic touch of the soul and will then work to discipline the mind and its desires. This results in the mind surrendering to the ego and the ego surrendering to the soul. When the ego surrenders to the soul it now works on behalf of the soul. At this point the language of the soul begins to be experienced in the consciousness. The intuition gets stronger, insights into the nature of life and the universe begin to be realized. Synchronicities happen and life has an ebb and flow which is without tension.

The surrender of the ego to the soul marks the death of the personality in its current form. When the ego has surrendered, the mind has full control over the senses. When there is full awareness of how the physical senses create desire and control over the fulfillment of those desires then there is no more wanting or craving, the mind is still and quiet and the personality is controlled.

At some point the soul will receive an energetic touch of spirit and will surrender to the spirit. In spiritual literature this is well documented as 'the dark night of the soul'. This surrender is the toughest because it means the surrender of a life which is balanced, harmonious, calm but yet there is still separation. The soul still feels a yearning and when it surrenders to the spirit it enters into the space of non-duality, cosmic oneness, transcendence. Where the experience of unity is directly realized.

Surrender is vital to the spiritual path. New wine cannot be put into old bottles, the old must go to replace the new. As I look back over what I am calling the 1st cycle I see how strong the concept of surrender was. I see how it operated in the retreats I attended. Many times I used to sit in meditation and be totally bored and I remember how I surrendered to the boredom. I didn't like it but I accepted that this was the way it was for me at that time.

I remember the peace and calm which I experienced when I did this. From this I realised that peace does not come from fighting but comes in the surrender. The surrender of the ego-mind to the soul and the surrender of the soul to the spirit. Surrendering the ego to the soul expands consciousness. Consciousness is the language of the soul. Surrendering the soul to the spirit expands awareness. Consciousness and awareness are different. The former still maintains the illusion of separation, with awareness there is no separation, it is a state of one-ness with life, with the universe. It is experiencing that I and the universe are one. The skill is to be able to take this exalted awareness and bring it back to the material world to move and shift others. What good is having these lofty states if they can't benefit others.

For many years I worked as a volunteer for Alternatives which is a mind, body spirit centre in the heart of London. I ran the bookstall there and was privileged to hear many speakers. What I loved about this time was the sense of excitement every Monday night when I would think about going. This excitement came from the fact that I knew that I would learn something new. It was a great opportunity to see how speakers were when they weren't center stage. Some speakers were great, entering into the spirit of the evening with the volunteers, others would barely speak to us. I can remember one very famous speaker coming and being rude and arrogant to us the volunteers. During his talk he said that he had a book out which was selling at the bookstall and that if people bought it that he would draw a personal individual doodle which would be worth a lot of money in the future. To me, this was pure marketing and something about it didn't feel right.

Alternatives gave me the opportunity to use my discernment about different speakers. I'm not saying to form judgements. Being discerning is not the same of being critical or judgemental. Discernment is about something not feeling right and honouring that by not going there. On a spiritual path discernment is so important. No two of us have the same spiritual path. Each one finds their way through reason and discernment. Without these it is difficult to navigate through.

In the afternoon I had a strong urge to go to an Alternatives talk. I looked to see who was on the programme and it was a talk about cosmic ordering. It didn't really grab me but I thought 'I'll go anyway'. I wanted to talk to the Directors about the workshop and get the benefit of the lessons they have learned through the workshops they have given. When I arrived at the church (it is held in St Jame's church) I saw the verger who was locking up. I had confused the dates and the talk was in September. The verger was a guy who was a volunteer when I was a volunteer but who left to become a verger for the church. When we were both volunteers we used to have long talks about the brain and neuroscience in spirituality which were very interesting. We had lost touch but when he saw me he had such a welcome and brought me in to show me what he was working on. He believes firmly that everyone is God and the prophesies are now and gives talks on this theme. He is so computer savvy and showed me some amazing graphics about how the prophesies relate to this time.

I came away from meeting him so inspired. This was the reason why my intuition was so strong to go back there last night. I believe that in time he is going to be a great speaker and presenter on the world stage. He is a computer programmer and is working on a brain theory which will prove the spiritual truth, 'As above, so below.' He is working to prove that everything which happens in the universe is directly reflected in the brain through the firing of neurons. Up to now, this has been something which has been directly realized and as such is subjective. He is working to provide objective evidence for this spiritual truth. I find this so exciting.......