Something unfinished

I had a nagging feeling when I woke up this morning that I had missed something important from what I wrote in my blog yesterday. The words 'vortex of energy' came to me and then I knew what it was. In the Power of Now Eckhart Tolle also speaks about being drawn into a 'vortex of energy' immediately after his mind was shocked by the 'I' 'me' distinction. It is the shock to the mind which resulted in the body being drawn into this vortex of energy. I remain convinced that living life from the point of view of expanded awareness involves and requires a movement of energy from deep within the body, rising upwards to the brain and coming to rest in the heart. It is the shock to the mind in combination with a movement of energy that results in spiritual awakening. This memory is amazing because it is a long time since I read this book. I always remembered the power of the 'I' 'me' distinction but never remembered the bit about the energy. This morning it seemed important to go back and add it. It is episodes like this that if I didn't accept them as part and parcel of my spiritual journey that I would seriously question my sanity.

I was thinking about how to discern those spiritual teachers that come from mind from those that come from experience. For me, it would have to be an experience of this rising energy. Before I had this experience I had a mind that was like most that I heard speak on the 'spiritual illuminaries' DVD yesterday. I had studied Buddhism for nine years and had read lots of literature. But it was only when I experienced this rising of energy that I truly realized what I had been reading about. It was only then that I knew (gosh this is so difficult to write) with a certainty what it was I had been doing all these years. Before this experience I only had concepts. Well developed, well articulated but ultimately only concepts.

For me, someone who is 'awake', has to have experienced this rise of energy. If they haven't then I remain sceptical. Something has to happen in the brain which shifts the consciousness to another level where more is seen and understood. This does not happen in normal everyday life, it takes an event. What Alice Bailey would call 'an initiation'.

Another way to discern whether a teacher is coming from the mind or soul (if your own intuition does not tell you) is to study how fast or slow he/she speaks. Fast speakers tend to come from the mind, slow, measured speakers are accessing the information from a place which is no-mind. The Dalai Lama speaks slowly. You could argue that he does this because his first language is not English and there may be some truth in this. But think about those people who you feel inspired by, is their speech, slow, mindful, measured or is it quite hectic with lots of ideas. These are just thoughts of mine, the reader is absolutely free to take them on or throw them out. They are simply words on a page, their only significance is what the reader gives to them. It is important to consider all of these. The spiritual journey is strewn with human wrecks because of a lack of discernment which is not the same as judgement.

I am going tomorrow to a conference in Bath called 'Beyond the Brain'. It is a conference which is being run by the Scientific and Medical Network. Some of the speakers who will be there I have spoken to or written to. I feel so certain that there is a link between my uncorrected lazy right eye and the kind of spiritual/mystical experiences I have had. I consider my case to be strengthened by the fact that Gordon Brown who is now Prime Minister has a glass eye in his left eye. As a result he has restricted stimulation going to his right brain. This is why his style is so different to his predecessor Tony Blair. There is so little spin and concern for image. He is a man who is totally about substance. It is no co-incidence that he was also chancellor of the exchequer which you could argue is the most left brained job in the country.

I will be bringing this theory with me to the conference tomorrow. It won't be the first time I have tried to get the world of science interested in this. Reactions to me have been mixed. One psychologist said to me 'you say these things yet you're not mad!...very reassuring. Most have told me that the energy through the eyes reaches both sides of the brain. For me it is too much of a co-incidence. I am no saint, I haven't spent years in a Buddhist monastery. The only thing that makes me different is that I have an uncorrected lazy right eye. I am positive that there is a connection, I just need someone to be able to see where I am coming from...so wish me luck.

I will try to continue this blog when I'm in Bath but as I am staying in University accommodation without any students, I'm not sure what internet facilities will be available. So if there's no blog update until Monday then you know why.